Wonderful Wives
By Pastor David Walker
In 1 Peter 1, the Scriptures direct our attention to the power of the blood of Jesus Christ. The Bible tells us that the life is in the blood.
Leviticus 17:11: “For the life of the flesh is in the blood: and I have given it to you upon the altar to make an atonement for your souls: for it is the blood that maketh an atonement for the soul.”
Modern science did not discover that the life of the flesh is in the blood until several hundred years after Moses penned those inspired words. Every living person is alive today because blood courses through their veins.
When Jesus Christ died upon the cross, He died in the sinner’s place. The justice of God was satisfied because the ultimate sacrifice was made. God’s holy nature demands that sin and iniquity be punished, and our sins were punished in Jesus Christ.
2 Corinthians 5:21: “For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him.”
Consider the contrasting testimony of blood in Scripture: when Cain murdered Abel and shed his blood upon the earth, Abel’s blood cried out from the ground for vengeance. But when the sinless blood of Jesus Christ flowed down from Calvary, it cried out for forgiveness.
1 Peter 1:18–19: “Forasmuch as ye know that ye were not redeemed with corruptible things, as silver and gold, from your vain conversation received by tradition from your fathers; But with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot.”
Money cannot buy salvation. Prestige, opulence, popularity, fame, and fortune cannot purchase a soul; only the precious blood of Jesus Christ can redeem man. In Exodus 12, at the institution of the Passover, God instructed each family to take a spotless lamb, slay it, and strike the blood on the two side posts and the upper lintel of the door. The Lord declared in Exodus 12:13: “And the blood shall be to you for a token upon the houses where ye are: and when I see the blood, I will pass over you, and the plague shall not be upon you to destroy you, when I smite the land of Egypt.” The blood had to cover them. When God looks down upon humanity, He sees only two categories of people: those who are covered by the blood and those who are not. Pastor David Walker is glad to be covered by the blood of Jesus.
The Call of 1 Peter 3
Following messages on motherhood in the Bible, a family checkup, and a study on honorable husbands—who must be honorable in love, loyalty, and leadership—Pastor David Walker turns the focus to women: wonderful wives. Pastor David Walker prefaces this study by affirming that he is blessed with a wonderful wife. These are tough messages or when you try to apply this message to yourself.
Discussions regarding the home, marriage, and family relationships are often challenging and convicting. Even when an individual is unmarried, the spiritual principles undergirding marriage apply to all areas of Christian living. When believers submit to God’s design, life proceeds in harmony with His will.
1 Peter 3:1-6
“Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;
But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:
Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.”
The Scriptural Description of a Bad Wife
Before examining what makes a wonderful wife, the Bible paints a vivid picture of what constitutes a contentious, foolish wife.
Two humorous illustrations highlight common marital friction:
Three weeks after their wedding, a young bride frantically phoned the pastor who had officiated their ceremony: “Pastor, John and I had a dreadful fight!” The pastor tried to calm her, reassuring her that every couple encounters arguments, and that it was likely not as bad as she thought. The bride replied, “Pastor, you don’t understand—what do I do with the body?”
In another instance, a young newlywed who was still learning how to cook brought two dishes to the dinner table and announced, “Here they are—I made you meatloaf and banana pudding.” Her husband looked at the plates and asked, “Which one’s which?”
The Old Testament provides solemn descriptions of contentious wives:
Proverbs 27:15: “A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.”*
Proverbs 21:9 (repeated verbatim in Proverbs 25:24): “It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.”*
Proverbs 21:19: “It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.”*
A bad wife is someone who is contentious to her husband. A brawling or a contentious woman – it is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop. Pastor David Walker recalls preaching in juvenile detention facilities; ministering to both young men and young women, the incarcerated girls often exhibited a far harsher, more defiant spirit. When a woman turns bitter and contentious, they are nasty.
This brings to mind the story of a young bachelor whose doctor delivered grim news: he had only six months left to live. The physician prescribed an unusual course of action: go find the most cantankerous, argumentative woman alive, marry her, move into a congested metropolis like South Florida or New York City, and drive an unreliable pickup truck that breaks down constantly. Perplexed, the young man asked, “Doctor, will that make me live longer?” The physician answered, “No, but it will be the longest six months you ever lived.”
Scripture further describes a destructive wife:
She is foolish: Proverbs 9:13 declares, “A foolish woman is clamorous: she is simple, and knoweth nothing.” Proverbs 14:1 adds, “Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.”* Rather than guiding and building her home, she dismantles it.
She is odious: Proverbs 30:21–23 states: “For three things the earth is disquieted, and for four which it cannot bear: For a servant when he reigneth; and a fool when he is filled with meat; For an odious woman when she is married; and an handmaid that is heir to her mistress.”* An odious woman is offensive, repulsive, and obnoxious. The preacher A.W. Tozer once addressed “squawking women”—individuals who insist on speaking out of place and out of order.
Consider another funny story: A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After running extensive tests, the physician called the wife into his office privately: “Your husband’s stress levels are dangerous; he is headed for a massive heart attack. Here is what you must do: rise early every morning and fix him a hearty breakfast; bring him his morning paper; meet him with a warm, scrumptious lunch; prepare his favorite dinner and dessert; pamper him constantly; massage his feet; yield to every request without arguing, and make his life completely stress-free.” When she returned to the waiting room, her husband asked, “What did the doctor say?” She looked at him and replied, “The doctor said you’re going to die.”
1. A Wonderful Wife Is Good
Proverbs 18:22: “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.”
Her Morality
Morals concern a person’s ethics, conscience, and judgment. Your morals should be based on the Bible, but not on the fabric of life. While upbringing often shapes childhood standards of right and wrong, Bible-believing Christians must anchor their moral convictions directly in the Word of God. A godly woman’s moral character is demonstrated in three areas:
1. Her Attitude (1 Peter 3:1–2):
Peter reveals a divine strategy for wives who do not have saved husbands: they may be won without a word through the conversation (conduct) of their wives, as their husbands behold their “chaste conversation coupled with fear.” An unbelieving or backslidden husband may refuse to attend church or read the Scriptures, but the Bible he cannot avoid reading is his wife’s daily conduct. They’re going to see if the Christianity she is having is worth having. In the King James Bible, “conversation” refers to one’s entire manner of living—not merely verbal speech. It’s not nagging him, but how she lives.
2. Her Attire (1 Peter 3:3):
“Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel.”
A godly woman does not live merely to please society through physical display. Proper grooming and feminine grace are commendable, but Peter warns against an over emphasis on looks. The passage does not forbid wearing jewelry any more than it forbids “putting on of apparel”—rather, it condemns prioritizing the outward exterior above the hidden man on the inside. The outside reflects what dwells on the inside: if a person dresses in the manner of a harlot, it is not right. You cannot stand in the church and sing a song dressed like that. Modern culture continually pushes women toward immodesty, but God’s standard remains holiness.
3. Her Actions (1 Peter 3:4):
“But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.”
The true beauty of a Christian woman is the presence of Jesus Christ dwelling within her heart, manifested through a meek and quiet spirit, which God views as an ornament of immense worth.
Her Matrimonial Compliance
1 Peter 3:6 points to the historical example of holy women: “Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.”
1 Timothy 2:9-14
“In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.
Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.
But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.
For Adam was first formed, then Eve.
And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.”
God established structure throughout creation: parents are over their children, employers oversee employees, and husbands lead the home. This order does not imply that a man is better to a woman; it denotes distinct, God-given roles. For a husband to lead effectively, his wife must be a follower. A husband cannot lead a wife who refuses to be led.
Pastor David Walker addresses several common excuses raised against biblical submission:
- “That was written thousands of years ago; things were different then.”
Pastor David Walker observed mockingbirds raising four fledglings in a small nest. Though the birds utilized modern man-made scraps such as cardboard or plastic to construct the nest, they still operated under the precise instincts God programmed into them at the beginning of creation. God made us a certain way and we can’t say that He hasn’t made certain things that way. While societal conventions change—women rightfully possess the right to vote and deserve equal pay for equal work—God’s design for headship in the home has never been altered.
- “I will only submit to God, not to a man.”
Romans 13:1: “Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God.”
Even the policeman is designated as a minister of God (Romans 13:4). Obey the higher powers. Every person throughout life must learn to submit to authority. Christian husbands must first be in complete submission to Jesus Christ before expecting their wives to follow their lead. Refusing to submit to ordained authority is simply rebellion.
- “If I didn’t step in and take charge, my husband never would.”
Is that an excuse to disobey God? Usurping leadership remains an act of disobedience. Instead of unleashing an argumentative tongue upon a husband, a wife should unleash the power of God upon him through persistent prayer.
- “I want to submit, but I do not know how.”
1 Peter 3 provides the biblical blueprint.
- “What if my husband makes the wrong decision?”
Husbands will occasionally make mistakes; a wise wife prays for God to grant him discretion. Furthermore, Christian husbands should never make major domestic decisions without thoroughly consulting and praying with their wives.
- “What if my husband asks me to do something wrong?”
Colossians 3:18: “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.”
A Christian wife is under no obligation to obey a husband who demands that she violate God’s commandments, such as purchasing alcohol with family funds. Furthermore, Scripture provides no mandate for a wife to remain in an abusive environment where her children are subjected to physical violence. 50 years ago, the women were afraid of getting out of abusive houses because they were afraid to have nowhere to go. When a husband departs from Christ and demands evil, the wife must take her stand with God.
Her Confidence
1 Peter 3:5: “For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands.”
A godly wife’s compliance stems directly from her confidence in God. The relationship is not 50:50, but 100:100. When two individuals in a marriage both demand ultimate authority, the home becomes a two-headed monstrosity. There has to be order everywhere in society. Without order and boundaries, society descends into chaos—just as retail stores were forced to remove self-checkout registers because the fallen human heart is deceitful and desperately wicked (Jeremiah 17:9). Today, at places where they put self-checkout registers, we have so many people stealing.
The late Adrian Rogers once noted that “when a wife submits to her husband, she experiences genuine freedom—just as a train experiences true freedom only when it stays upon the tracks.” Derailing into an open meadow causes an immediate crash, but remaining on the rails allows it to function at its highest capacity. Believers serve God best within the boundaries He has established.
2. A Wonderful Wife Is Gracious
Proverbs 11:16: “A gracious woman retaineth honour: and strong men retain riches.”
Psalm 145:8 “The LORD is gracious, and full of compassion; slow to anger, and of great mercy.”
- Gracious in Demeanor:
Demeanor involves how a woman carries herself, not just how she clothes herself. In 1 Samuel 25, Abigail was married to Nabal, a foolish, wicked, and intoxicated churl. When Nabal insultingly refused to provide provisions for David’s men, David strapped on his sword to wipe out Nabal’s household. Abigail acted with discernment, gathering supplies, meeting David, and interceding with remarkable grace and humility, sparing many innocent lives. She carried herself to be able to intercede. Similarly, Queen Esther risked her own life, carried herself with exceptional grace when entering the inner court uninvited, finding favor before the king and rescuing her entire nation from slaughter.
- Gracious in Duties:
Titus 2 speaks of guiding the home and loving children. Nurturing a family involves heavy responsibilities, yet a wonderful wife handles her domestic duties with a grateful, gracious heart. All of us can learn from her graciousness and thankfulness.
- Gracious in Dealings:
A gracious woman demonstrates compassion in all her interactions. Proverbs 31 refutes the misconception that a godly woman must never engage in commerce outside the home. The Proverbs 31 woman bought fields, managed a vineyard, manufactured garments, and traded in the marketplace, conducting all her business with integrity, wisdom, and grace. Women have always worked inside and outside the house. She was gracious in her dealings.
3. A Wonderful Wife Is Godly
Proverbs 12:4: “A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.”
Proverbs 31:10: “Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.”
She Loves Her Savior
Proverbs 31:30: “Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.”
When a wife loves the Lord Jesus Christ and puts Him first, she will treat her husband with honor. Conversely, when a husband loves Christ supreme, he will cherish his wife. When strife and mistreatment characterize a marriage, the underlying root is a defective relationship with the Savior. A godly woman will love her Savior and her husband.
She Loves Her Spouse
Titus 2:1-5
“But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine:
That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience.
The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”
The older generation possesses valuable wisdom that younger women ought to seek out. It doesn’t need to be a formal Bible class but also in the kitchen. Younger women ought to ask questions, e.g. “How did you deal with grandfather?” A husband could either run or ruin his whole family. But a woman could either make or break her marriage. You could blaspheme the word of God by not doing the right thing.
Scripture explicitly commands the aged women to teach younger women to love their husbands. Love can be taught? Yes it can. Biblical love is not a mere passive emotion that one accidentally “falls into”; it is learned, cultivated, and commanded.
This unconditional love is frequently mirrored in a mother’s devotion: even when a wayward son sits convicted of heinous crimes in a courtroom and the entire world condemns him, his mother stands by him because she has made a resolute choice to love him. There’s nothing like a mother’s love. That picture reflects God’s love toward sinners. Without the blood of Jesus Christ, God could not love guilty sinners. Husbands are sinners too, and they are not always going to make the right decision.
Similarly, husbands and wives must uphold their marriage vows through every trial. While Scripture permits divorce on the biblical grounds of adultery, Christian couples must purpose to love one another through everyday imperfections. Husbands must likewise remember to continually express and demonstrate their love to their wives through words and thoughtful actions. Show her you love her – through a box of chocolates, or whatever it is.
Understanding Three Types of Husbands
To assist wives in understanding and adapting to their husbands, Pastor David Walker identifies three general types among men:
1. The Command Man:
This man is an assertive, natural-born leader who thrives on running operations, directing employees, and making decisions. A wife married to a command man will cause severe friction if she constantly confronts him head-on; she must recognize his need for leadership and utilize gentle, tactful discretion to communicate her thoughts.
2. The Visionary:
This man is imaginative and constantly generating new concepts, inventions, and ventures. He may arrive home unexpectedly with plans to relocate or launch a new enterprise, frequently designing systems while leaving the administrative execution to others. Never completes one thing, but always has a lot of ideas. A wife married to a visionary must embrace the fast-paced ride and appreciate his creative drive rather than demanding rigid predictability. “I’m just going to lean on in his visions.”
3. Mr. Steady:
Representing the majority of men, Mr. Steady is dependable, patient, and consistent. He works faithfully from nine to five, avoids rash decisions, and takes extensive time to deliberate before acting. He would never invent anything. He won’t be bossy. He thinks he’s doing the right thing by thinking about a decision for 15 days when he should have made the decision last month. A wife married to Mr. Steady must learn patience, understanding that his thorough deliberation stems from a desire to be careful and reliable.
Recognizing these temperaments helps prevent marital frustration and enables wives to support their husbands effectively.
Conclusion
Proverbs 19:14: “House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the LORD.”
Any wife who recognizes a lack of biblical prudence should repent and seek God’s wisdom. When navigating difficulties with an imperfect spouse, the journey must begin on one’s knees in prayer, asking the Lord to mold the husband into the man He desires him to be.
As Proverbs 14:1 reiterates: “Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.” While the husband bears the responsibility to lead, the wife fills in the heart of the home, guiding and building the household.
The prevailing spirit of the modern age aggressively opposes God’s blueprint for the home, urging women to usurp authority and utilize manipulation tactics to control their spouses. Such practices are wicked and of the devil, contrary to God’s Word. Christian women are called to reject worldly patterns, embrace the admonitions of Scripture, and cultivate the enduring virtues of a wonderful wife to the glory of God.
Original audio sermon: https://www.sermonaudio.com/sermons/6324017376158