A Family Check Up
By Pastor David Walker
In 2 Kings 4, Pastor David Walker began preaching a series running up until Father’s Day on the family. After dealing with biblical motherhood, he moved broader in scope to 2 Kings 4 with the subject of a family checkup.
Our nation is crumbling spiritually and morally. Churches are falling apart, and at the root of it, families have fallen apart. Tracing everything back, it all comes back to where a person individually places the Lord Jesus Christ. You either put the Lord Jesus Christ first and foremost in your life, or you have another god in front of God. That is what it boils down to.
2 Kings 4 records an account in the life of Elisha. Elijah had Elisha as his protégé—raised up underneath Elijah. Elijah placed his mantle upon Elisha and indicated that when he was gone, Elisha would be the prophet and spokesman for God for the nation of Israel. Elisha came into the room of Elijah the prophet, taking his place when Elijah went up into heaven by a whirlwind.
When Elijah was taken up, Elisha asked him for a double portion of the Spirit of God: “I want what you have and I want it double.” Elijah replied that if Elisha saw him when the Lord took him, it would be granted. Elisha watched Elijah go up into heaven in a chariot of fire, and Elijah’s mantle fell. A mantle was like an overcoat, worn constantly.
When Elisha took that mantle, he went to the river Jordan, smote the waters, and cried, “Where is the Lord God of Elijah?” The waters parted. It was not the mantle; it was the God of the mantle that mattered. Under the power of God, Elisha performed twice as many miracles as Elijah.
Passing through Shunem, southeast of the Sea of Galilee, Elisha met a woman identified in the Bible as a “great woman”—well known, influential, and godly, living there with her husband. She took note of Elisha and built a chamber for him to stay in when passing through so he would not have to sleep in the cold or heat. Understanding she had no child, Elisha and his servant Gehazi prayed, and the Lord promised through Elisha that she would embrace a son. God supernaturally worked, and she bore a son, bringing great joy to the home.
Years later, the narrative unfolds:
“And when the child was grown, it fell on a day, that he went out to his father to the reapers. And he said unto his father, My head, my head. And he said to a lad, Carry him to his mother. And when he had taken him, and brought him to his mother, he sat on her knees till noon, and then died.”
— 2 Kings 4:18–20
Out working in the field with his father, the boy suffered what seemed like a heat stroke or aneurysm, sat on his mother’s knees, and died.
“And she went up, and laid him on the bed of the man of God, and shut the door upon him, and went out. And she called unto her husband, and said, Send me, I pray thee, one of the young men, and one of the asses, that I may run to the man of God, and come again. And he said, Wherefore wilt thou go to him to day? it is neither new moon, nor sabbath. And she said, It shall be well. Then she saddled an ass, and said to her servant, Drive, and go forward; slack not thy riding for me, except I bid thee. So she went and came unto the man of God to mount Carmel. And it came to pass, when the man of God saw her afar off, that he said to Gehazi his servant, Behold, yonder is that Shunammite: Run now, I pray thee, to meet her, and say unto her, Is it well with thee? is it well with thy husband? is it well with the child? And she answered, It is well.”
— 2 Kings 4:21–26
Gehazi went ahead and laid Elisha’s staff upon the child, but nothing happened because power rested not in the staff, but in the God behind the man of God. When the Shunammite reached Elisha, she fell at his feet. Elisha went to the house, prayed, and God raised the boy back to life through Elisha.
In verse 26, Gehazi was told by Elisha to ask three distinct questions:
1. “Is it well with thee?”
2. “Is it well with thy husband?”
3. “Is it well with the child?”
This constitutes a complete family checkup. If a father took the entire family to the doctor for a thorough examination, the doctor would run tests, check vitals, and probe to see if everyone is truly well. This passage encompasses the whole family. Are you really healthy? Is your home healthy? Is the environment between the walls of your house a place where God is welcome, a place of peace, or of turmoil?
The church is no stronger than the families within it. In God’s order from the beginning, God created man first, then woman, establishing an order for society. God has an order to society.
Pastor David Walker noted that as pastor, he is not better than anyone in the congregation, nor are they better than him; rather, he has a responsibility to lead and preach as a pastor, just as a husband has the responsibility to lead his wife. God creates a man, then a woman, and together they have a child—a family unit established long before the nation of Israel or the New Testament church.
God established the family before the church was established. The church is designed to supplement spiritually what is already taking place in the home. It cannot replace the home. God forbid that the only time a child opens the Bible, memorizes scripture, hears someone pray, or hears about Jesus from a man is within the four walls of a church building. That responsibility belongs to the father and mother in the home.
If a marriage is not good, it affects the children. If discipline and guidance of children are lacking, it affects the marriage.
I. Personal Fellowship: “Is It Well with Thee?”
This question applies to everyone—married, single, or divorced. How is your personal fellowship with the Lord?
Historically, believers and Puritans greeted one another asking, “Do I meet thee praying?” or “Do I meet thee in study?” Have you prayed this morning? Have you been studying your Bible? In a physical checkup, doctors ask probing, personal questions to locate problems so healing can occur. The question must be asked: Is it well with your soul?
First, there is personal responsibility. If a person dies unsaved, the Bible explicitly warns of hell. It is not well with you if you are not saved. The stress and anxiety of not knowing how to pay for your sins.
“And I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life: and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works. And the sea gave up the dead which were in them; and death and hell delivered up the dead which were in them: and they were judged every man according to their works… And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire.”
— Revelation 20:12–13, 15
Standing before a holy and just God in personal sin leaves Him no choice but righteous judgment. Forgiveness comes solely through faith in the finished work of Jesus Christ:
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”
— John 3:16
Salvation requires personal faith in Christ’s substitutionary death, burial, and resurrection, knowing that we cannot save ourselves.
“Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost;”
— Titus 3:5
“For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.”
— Ephesians 2:8–9
When Jesus died, a divine exchange took place: He took our sin and provides His righteousness. With Christ’s blood cleansing sin, a person can lay their head down at night with absolute assurance and peace. God sees the blood and forgives us of our sins.
“The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.”
— 2 Peter 3:9
Beyond salvation, there is personal priority. What’s your priority right now? As a believer, there’s a lot more to the Christian life than just salvation. For example, sanctification. Are you walking and talking with the Lord? Do you spend time in prayer, let Him speak to you through His Word, serve others, and make sacrifices to please Him? Personal fellowship with God must come first; a person cannot be right with a spouse, children, parents, or neighbors until they are right with God.
II. Partner Fellowship: “Is It Well with Thy Husband?”
Next is partner fellowship: marriage between a man and a woman. How is it between husband and wife?
As family expands from Adam, to Adam and Eve, to children, responsibility increases. You can’t be right with your in laws, cousins, neighbors, children, spouse until you are right with God. A marriage is between a man and a woman.
Just imagine Dr Jesus said “okay, I’ve examined you personally. Now I would like to examine you as a couple.”
Just as growing children learn self-care and chores like brushing their teeth, adults who marry assume greater responsibility because their lives directly impact their spouse. We have to grow in our responsibilities. “She’s affecting me and I’m affecting her.” Many marriage problems arise because two people are in love with themselves instead of being in love with each other.
Scripture commands and teaches marital love:
“That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,”
— Titus 2:4
“Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”
— Ephesians 5:33
The above commandments teach us to love. Love is a choice that glues a home together. How is it with you and your spouse? “You can treat him or her like this and it’s okay?”
Fellowship with one another is directly tied to fellowship with God:
“That which we have seen and heard declare we unto you, that ye also may have fellowship with us: and truly our fellowship is with the Father, and with his Son Jesus Christ. And these things write we unto you, that your joy may be full.”
— 1 John 1:3–4
“For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus;”
— 1 Timothy 2:5
“This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth: But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.”
— 1 John 1:5–7
When believers walk in the light, they naturally walk together in fellowship. Pastor Walker mentioned that many churchgoers come from all over the counties. Like ants, everyone moved to the same destination which is the church that day. If we walk in the light as Jesus is in the light, then you are going to bump into other people serving the Lord Jesus together.
When a husband and wife both fervently desiring Jesus Christ and to serve Him, they inevitably draw closer to one another. The best marriage counsel is for both spouses individually to draw closer to God. But if one is moving closer to the Lord, and the other isn’t, it’s not going to go well.
III. Parental Fellowship: “Is It Well with the Child?”
The third question addresses parental responsibility. Children are gifts entrusted by God to parents to be raised for Him. Children belong to God. Having this perspective early on is important for the parents.
When baby Moses was drawn out of the water, Pharaoh’s daughter said:
“And Pharaoh’s daughter said unto her, Take this child away, and nurse it for me, and I will give thee thy wages. And the woman took the child, and nursed it.”
— Exodus 2:9
In the same way, God places children into the care of parents with the charge to raise the children for Him. God gave you a job! The responsibility is on the parents, not on the child. That’s why the question is asked on the parents.
When Israel rebelled at Kadesh-barnea out of fear of the giants in Canaan, God held accountable those twenty years old and upward, sparing Joshua, Caleb, and the younger generation. Children lack the maturity and faculties to make adult decisions; they need the protective boundaries of parents. Permitting immature children (under 15 years old) to make weighty decisions harms them. They need to be under protective care of their parents to make decisions for them.
“The wicked shall be turned into hell, and all the nations that forget God.”
— Psalm 9:17
Parents must serve as a boundary and prepare their children for the real world rather than perpetuating juvenile dependence into their twenties. We now have 20+ year olds now who are acting like juveniles. They are making decisions in their heads whether we like them or not.
Questions for Fathers:
1. Am I providing for my family’s physical needs, offering a protective shelter from the dangers of this world inside my home?
2. Am I effectively leading my family as the spiritual head of my home? (A husband must submit to the lordship of Jesus Christ before he can rightly lead his home.)
3. Am I properly mentoring my children, bringing them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord?
4. Do I treat my wife like I would want my sons to treat their wives one day? (Children observe both positive and negative actions in the home.)
Questions for Mothers:
1. Am I nurturing the needs of my children even when it means putting myself last?
2. Am I truly submitting to my husband’s leadership in the home?
3. What message do I convey toward my children in how I treat my husband? (Daughters learn reverence and respect by watching their mothers.)
Direct Words to Children:
1. Do you thank God for your mother and father, and do you love them?
> “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.”> — Ephesians 6:1 (Obeying parents is a child’s foundational way to serve the Lord.)
2. Do you treat your brothers and sisters the way God wants you to treat them? The Lord commands siblings to love and treat one another well.
Original sermon audio: https://www.sermonaudio.com/sermons/519241752417321